9.1

I feel like im drowning in a sea of political bullshit.

I don't know were everyone has gone.

I can't see past my own fucking hand anymore.

I'm attempting to smoke myself to death. Hopefully im getting close.
Several years ago on this very day, i was brought upon the world. If they would've told me it was going to be like this, i would have crawled back in, refused to come out.

I see you suffering, it makes me hurt. People are blind.
Hiding behind the thin veil of their own lives, refusing to look out the window.

I've left my heart in a chair in your room. I told you, you could have it if you wished.
you might get better use out of it then i ever could.
I don't want it back though. if you don't like it, just leave it there.

It's beautiful outside now. the seasons mine for the taking.
Yet, the air conditioner still runs.
All i want is to fly.
I want to sit outside and read until i combust.

I think of you often, and the series of events that led me there.
How grateful can a soul be? A man somewhere is throwing up blood. All the while-
not knowing how lucky he is. He took it all for granted, expecting to stay a bit longer.
what a desperate mistake he made.
If only you had eyes. Or feet for that matter.

I just wish there was something i could do to end the suffocation.
I need a fast car, in a hurry.
I need a time machine.
I need a self destruct button.

I'm lost at sea, and i can't swim.

Someone throw me a lifeboat.

This desperation is pitiful.

I hate myself for it.