The earth stood still one day...

You held my hand,
and looked into my soul
as you wove fabrications into my mind.
Promising i could trust you,
you would never leave my side.

I opened my cover, and read you the story.
leaving the last bit blank for you to write
thinking you'd make a perfect ending.
But i end up with a how to manual on deception.

Making me want to cease all basic human functions.
Shut down permanently.

You were my moon. The overseer of the night.
But the moon waxes and wanes
and our cycles didn't mesh.

you were captured in the eyes of a porcelain doll.
but how can you be lost in
something with no reflection.

My nights are pitch black.
The tides have gone crazy.

Wishing i could self terminate,
I've ripped out your pages.
started again.

I've found another you
and hes got copyright permission.

I'm writing a sequel
praying for a bestseller.

10.17

I miss you.
Even though i wouldn't be with you anyways.

I feel comfortable here.
Comfortably numb.....

Copyright infringment.

I'll get the lawsuit tomorrow.

My mind is racing.
yet somehow completely desolate.

The owners have returned.
Who knows what will happen next.

Ice cream and British accents.
Come on and let it out.

My insides are dancing
but my outsides won't move.

Social awkwardness consumes me.
Hinders my speech.
Obscures my movements.


Crack my shell.

I wan't to break free.

The nut inside is Toxic.

10.17

I've lost all feeling in my extremities.
I can no longer differentiate between the smoke and my breath.

Explosive amounts of vomit
covering the floor.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
not with you anyway.

I'm getting my fill tonight.
I've been jonesing for weeks.

It's beautiful up here.
The wind piercing your flesh like needles.

What is there to do?
Everyone is asleep.
yet i feel obligated to forcefully restrain my eyelids from their
natural state.

Why?

Good question.

Let me know if you find out.

As for me.

I've lost all sense of whats real.

Fuck.

One way of putting it...

Numb fingers scribbling silent words
no one will see.
How do i express what I'm feeling.
Mixed emotions spreading like AIDs.
How do i tell you I need you.

Strolling through the days.
we don't speak.
we don't feel.
Vague text messages sent back and forth.
Up to my balls in small talk.
all i want is to feel your warmth.
how do i tell you I'd spend the rest of my life with you.

When I'm Just another girl who lives around the bend. unable to Express my true feelings. wishing you could Read my Emotions. when My pages are written In invisible ink. And the book is closed.

How do i tell you, you're my everything?

words might help.

10.9

Daydreaming through the streets.
I don't know what to think.

It would seem i've lost all touch with reality.
how do i cope?

Intoxicants, carcinogens, Promiscuity.

Attempting to drown myself
just to feel.

Pathetic.

Coursing through life on autopilot.
Blindfolded and gagged.

Theres nothing you can do.

Wishing someone could save me from this hell.
Teach me how to feel, how to love.

I slept in that day.
Missed the lecture.

Someone shake me awake.
I've taken too many hallucinogens.

I fear I'll comatose soon.